I love it.  Day one of summer vacation and my plans are to clean the bathroom, do loads of laundry, and to make my mother proud, even hang some of it on a clothesline instead of tossing it in the dryer.  I am even excited about all the cleaning and organizing I plan to accomplish this summer.  I have several magazines including RealSimple, Good Housekeeping, and Better Homes and Garden that all tell me how to clean more efficiently and effectively.  My friend, Kim, sells Norwax cleaning products so I have all the supplies I need to disinfect healthily.  My diffuser is misting Peppermint, Lemon, and Lavender oils so the air we are breathing is cleansed free of gremlins trying to destroy our health.  No harsh chemicals here.  So my first day of playing Cinderella has commenced.  As I am going about my business humming “Bibbledee Bobbidy Boo” I am thinking about the classroom I just left 24 hours earlier.  Didn’t I just do this?  I remember walking into the room with my arsenal of cleaning supplies, just like I have now,  and yes, my diffuser was misting away the germs, and, my game plan was similar.  Clean cabinets, wash counter tops, scrub tables, purge papers, and organizer everything. Then I started thinking how much time we spend everyday cleaning.  No wonder there are countless articles on how to clean, keep it clean, stay organized, and if I’m honest, I have probably read thousands of them looking for better solutions.  And if I’m really honest, I will have to admit, that I have only implemented a few of the suggestions from those articles which usually involved spending money to purchase the item needed to achieve the result the article touted.  So, I guess mother knows best after all.  My mom kept an immaculate house and she did it with cleanser, a wet rag, and putting things away.  “Clutter” was a four letter? word in our house.  If you didn’t use it, you didn’t need it, and you donated it.  My mom was a master organizer.  She would come over to help me clean when my children were babies and one time my husband commented that when he opened the cabinet to get coffee, the packages were standing at attention.  Every now and then I will get into my pantry and strive for the same result but my packages often look like Barney Fife instead of NCIS.  So even though I have my breathe easy cleaning solutions, I also have my Bon Ami.    Because when it comes to the tough stuff, elbow grease and cleanser often save the day.  And, Bon Ami’s motto is “No Harsh Chemicals, Never had it, Never will” so I don’t feel too guilty using it.  While I am on my cleaning rampage for a healthier home and being so insistent that no harsh chemicals are used to endanger my family’ s health, my husband walks into the kitchen with a frown on his face.  He states, “Algae in the pool again.”  “I am off to the pool store for more chlorine, shock, and chemicals.”  “See you later.”  I look at my arsenal of gentle yet effective cleaning supplies and cannot help thinking of the irony here.

One will often here cliches that “Life is all about chances.”  Or, you only miss the opportunities that you do not take.  There are cliches about exercise,  my personal favorite (insert sarcasm)”No pain, no gain.” But my all time favorite cliche that is now part of everyday vocabulary is the “Pinterest Fail.”  I absolutely love Pinterest.  I love that I can lose myself in the imaginary world of perfect house, perfect garden, perfect meal, perfect desserts, perfect entertaining, perfect lesson plans, and perfect time management so that I can perfectly relax.  By now I am sure my readers can see a theme.  Those Pinterest artists, and yes, in my mind they are artists, are extremely gifted.  I salivate at that antique dresser so loving restored and repurposed that now it is the center attraction in one’s entryway knowing that were I able to even find an antique dresser, I probably would not even know where to begin.  Actually, I take that back.  I would know where to begin just like I did many, many years ago with an old book case that my mom had sitting in her basement.  I bought all the necessary materials to strip the paint, took it out to the driveway, and began stripping away.  Hours later I was still stripping and my teenage mind was becoming frustrated that  the project was taking so long.  My mom came out to help and if I remember correctly, took over the project after I abandoned it.  I guess one could call that my first “Pinterest Fail.”  Now to be fair, I have had some Pinterest Successes but they relate to creating anchor charts for the classroom.  If one can write, one can create an anchor chart. (For the non educator, an anchor chart is large lined paper with a subject strategy written in marker and or a graphic that is posted in the  classroom.) Other minor Pinterest Success have related to the small flower garden in my backyard,  With the help of my husband, yes I did say “help,” I am able to keep the garden alive.  Although there is one very strange flower beginning to bloom in a container that I haven’t a clue as to what it could possible become.   I do remember planting some bulbs I found in the garage that I had bought a year or more ago and said to the bulbs as I placed them, “Surprise me.”  Apparently that flower in the container is taking my statement literally.  It will be fun to see what finally materializes.  Other Pinterest attempts have been in the kitchen.  And to my credit, baking is probably more of a strength.  Enter the cake pop decorating.  I was hosting a baby shower for my girlfriend’s daughter and had it stuck in my mind that I was going to create baby rattle cake pops.  Sounds simple, right?  Think again.  First I scoured Pinterest for the cutest pop rattles I could find.  The recipe and baking of the pops were not an issue ,however , the decorating was quite another story.  The icing wouldn’t nicely surround the pops with the proper consistency so that the blue piping and white dots would stick.  The pops wouldn’t stand up in their holders to dry so that I could tie the bows on the sticks.  With the guests arriving shortly, I was in a panic.  Thank goodness for my friend, Kim . She  was in charge of decorating and took over setting up the food for the shower as I battled the pops in the kitchen.   Finally, exasperated, I dipped the pops in the icing,  and gave them a spin in some melted chocolate.   Because after all, it is my firm belief that next to coffee, chocolate can fix just about anything.  I am calling this one a moderate Pinterest Success.

As I was thinking about the title of my blog, I decided that the reason I chose it is not because I am an eternal optimist, I just always feel that any situation can always be worse than what is actually happening.  For example, I am in a constant state of Battle of the Bulge.  Now, I know this was a historical battle and I mean no disrespect, but my bulge battle is personal.  It is personal with my constant cravings, endless “watching what I eat,” and conversations with others fighting their own personal “Battle of the Bulge.”   My mom often says,” you’re at that age.”  But, what if I don’t want to be at that age?  I really want my twenty year old metabolism back.  But wait, that would mean I would have to be twenty again.  Do I really want to be twenty again.? No, not really.  I am enjoying life.  Middle age has its advantages.  For instance, I know for sure that I can walk into a crowded restaurant or bar with girl friends and will definitely have a night out with the girls.  No one is going to bother me.  I also know that the waiter is being nice to us because he wants a good tip.  No pretenses.  Additionally, at my age, I can go to the gym in my baggy sweatpants if I want instead of a cute workout outfit because, let’s face it, no one is going to care.  So, after a night out, which ends at about 9:30p.m. nowadays, is often followed by a trip to the gym the next day, because, after all,  a night out comes wih dieter’s regret ,and, even the best diets recommend exercise  One only has to look at any  social media site to see countless diets toting their benefits for weight loss.  The most recent diet, and my favorite, is the chocolate cake for breakfast diet.  Time magazine recently posted an article that chocolate cake before 9:00 a.m. was actually good for the waistline and health.  The article claimed the sugar is a jump-start of energy and the flavonoids are beneficial.    Because the chocolate cake is eaten before 9:00 a.m., the calories are burned easily throughout the day.  This is my kind of diet.  So off I went into the kitchen to make a batch of dark chocolate brownies ( I know it is not a cake but I was thinking “transfer” and would receive the same effect)  to be eaten before 9:00a.m. the following morning.  As the brownies were baking, I kept thinking how wonderful it will be to have such a delicious treat with my morning coffee. Delayed gratification would be so, well, gratifying.  Twenty-eight  minutes later the dark chocolate brownies emerged from the oven.  They smelled absolutely heavenly to this chocoholic.  I began thinking about how I would enjoy one each morning for a few days.  My girlfriend, Vicki, often joked about  how I used to bring a chocolate treat to lunch every day years past, well I was so anxious to start the tradition again, but now for breakfast instead of lunch.  So, as I stood over those brownies waiting for them to cool, convincing myself that it must have merit if it was printed by Time magazine. I decided that one little taste for quality control  couldn’t hurt.  Because, after all, even the best diet emphasizes portion control.  So I tasted a brownie, gave in, tasted another, and reminded myself that any diet is only as good as the will power of the person adhering to it.  Ahhh, will power is highly over rated.